


her white dress

by thor_odinson



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 14:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19064968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thor_odinson/pseuds/thor_odinson
Summary: The last thing Emma sees her mother wearing is that damned white dress.





	her white dress

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted [here](https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12056384/1/Her-White-Dress/) on my fanfiction.net account.

I sat back in my chair at Granny's, my hand clutching a warm cup of hot chocolate. I watched the snow fall outside, small pearl-white layers that covered the ground in a crisp and piercing blanket. It was so cold that I hadn't had the courage to take off my coat and hat; I didn't want to risk catching something.

My other hand was curved over Killian's as he sat next to me, my feet constantly brushing against Henry's as he and Violet listened to his music across from us. David, Regina, Robin and Roland were sat at the booth in front, all eight of us desperately craving some normalcy in our lives, something we hadn't had even before the trip to the Underworld.

My mother had taken my brother to the doctor's for his regular check-up and would be back any moment now. My mother. I hadn't had the chance to call anyone my mother for twenty eight whole years and I'd only had my real mother in my life for two years. That accounted for nearly thirty years of catching up to do, and while she couldn't mother me in the way she had the chance to mother Neal (therefore missing out on the crucial mother-daughter bonding), I loved her with everything I was.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate, revelling in the warm and creamy taste that exploded in my mouth. There was nothing more I longed to do nothing but curl up under numerous blankets and duvets watching Netflix with Killian ( _just_ Netflix. No chill. Not yet.) and worry about nothing other than how long it would take us to finish the next season.

There was so much I had to show him, so many shows that we had to watch together; Sherlock, Lucifer, Doctor Who, the list was endless. I didn't know how much we'd get through before the next pinch of evil was thrown into the strange recipe that was our lives. And even though we were constantly fending off monsters and crazy bastards, without a single week's peace in between, I wouldn't change my life for anything. This was what I did, this was who I was now and if I had my family, nothing could be better.

I leant my head on Killian's shoulder, silently watching as Henry and Violet interacted. They seemed to be getting along well, despite me taking Violet's heart and breaking my son's in the process. Henry had forgiven me for that (I think) but still an enormous wave of guilt washed over me whenever I looked at the two of them together.

And then we heard it. The skid and then the crash. The crash of the car that would change all our lives in the worst way possible. All of us stood up and looked out of the window and I felt the bile rising up in my throat.

An unsteady lamp had fallen right on top of the car's windscreen. We all rushed out and our worst fears were confirmed. The car had my mother in it.

I raced up to the side of the car and gagged. The lamp had smashed the glass of the windscreen and the biggest fragments had no doubt fallen  _inside_  the car.

David and Robin opened the front door to get Snow (how ironic that the snow had caused Snow White an injury) out of the car, while Killian flung open the back door to tend to my brother, who was thankfully unharmed.

It seemed Mum had taken the worst of the hit (which didn't calm my nerves one bit). Dad and Robin laid my mother on the ground, Dad taking off his jumper to put it under her head. My mouth fell open when I saw the massive pool of blood on her pale pink (thick) jacket where the glass had cut into her. And the stain was growing bigger.

Everything became a blur as I watched Robin call for an ambulance and Dad frantically talk to Mum to keep her awake. My legs shook and I sank next to Dad.

'Mum,' I choked out, a lump settling in my throat. 'No, Mum, you have to stay awake,' I whispered as her eyes closed.

She reached for my hand, offering a feeble squeeze. It wasn't much and it didn't comfort me the way I thought it would but at least I knew she was hanging onto her life by a mere thread.

Snow opened her eyes as Killian retrieved a blanket from the car to press it to her wound. She screamed and the sound rung in my ears. The glass was still inside her, the blood leaking around it. The stain of blood was growing bigger by the second and it baffled me how the glass cut through her thick winter jacket (with several fleece layers), her jumper and t-shirt to cut into her skin.

I vaguely heard the sirens and the screech of the tyres as the ambulance came to a stop. After that, everything happened in a rush. I felt someone gently take me by the upper arm, pulling me up. People were shouting, yelling but I couldn't make sense of any of it.

I watched them put my mother on a stretcher as the person walked me backwards. I started shaking.

I heard the word, 'Emma,' over the din of everything else that had started up. 'Emma, listen.' The voice was shaky, uneven.

'Swan?' I recognised this voice. It was Killian. I blinked rapidly a couple of times and he and my father came into focus.

Dad's eyes were red. He'd been crying. Killian had the worst of his distressed expressions and I knew why. 'Swan,' he said again.

I turned to him, my eyes burning. 'Your Dad's going to go up to the hospital to be with your mother, you need to go with him.'

'Yeah, okay, if we're walking,' I whispered.

'Emma, we can get there faster if we take the truck,' David told me.

'And what if what happened to Mum happened to us? What if we die? What's going to happen then?'

Killian held me as I cried, his arms around my shoulders. 'Swan, it's okay. Take the truck,' he whispered. 'You'll get to be with your mother faster.'

'No!' I yelled. I turned and started walking. 'We are walking to the hospital. I'm not going to risk anything anymore.'

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I reached the hospital and walked up to the Accident & Emergency unit. David and Killian had opted to take the truck after all, and I hadn't seen them since I'd left.

I walked up to the desk at A&E and asked to see Mary Margaret Blanchard.

'Are you family?' the receptionist asked.

'I'm her daughter, Emma Swan,' I told her. The receptionist looked at me long and hard, clearly not believing my statement. 'Well, are you going to let me in or what?' I asked forcefully, my impatience getting the better of me.

'I'm afraid we can't let anyone in the room while they treat her. If you wait here, someone will call you once they're done.'

I nodded curtly, turning to walk into the waiting room. When I walked in the almost empty room, where I saw Henry.

'Henry!' I called.

He looked up and ran over to me and I enveloped him in a hug. 'Henry, how are you here?' I asked as I held his shoulders.

'Mum dropped me off before she went outside with Neal.'

I frowned. 'Is he okay?'

Henry shrugged. 'I think he was just hungry.'

Suddenly a door opened and a nurse poked her head into the waiting room. 'Emma Swan, would you like to come in and see your mother?'

I swallowed. Dad wasn't here yet. I was sure he'd want to spend some time with his wife. 'Uh yeah.' I turned to Henry. 'If your grandpa shows up, tell him I'm with Mum, okay?'

He nodded. 'I love you, Henry.'

'I love you too, Mum.' I hugged him and then walked over to the waiting room door.

'I—I'm so sorry to have to say this,' the nurse started, and I clenched my fists tight. 'But… your mother's lost an awful lot of blood. I doubt there's a chance that she'll make it past the next hour.'

And it felt like the Dark One Dagger had stabbed me in the stomach.  _My mother was going to die._

And the first person I thought of was Neal. My baby brother. He was only five months old. He wasn't even going to get a chance to make any memories with Snow before she left him.

I pushed past the nurse and ran to locate Mum's hospital room. I peered through the window and gagged. I was going to lose my mother.

I opened the door and Mum's head turned my way. 'Hey, sweetie,' she greeted me.

She was propped up on numerous pillows, the white hospital gown looking far too big on her small form. This was the last thing she would ever wear. A snow white gown on the Snow White princess: a cruel,  _cruel_ , mockery of her name. Irony at its finest again.

'Hey, Mum,' I said, managing a small smile as I walked in and sat on the edge of her bed. 'How are you feeling?'

She smiled. 'A bit sore. Otherwise, I'm okay. How's Neal?'

'Neal's okay. He was unharmed. He's outside with Regina now.'

'I… can I see him before I go?' she asked.

I took her hand, my eyes filling with tears. 'Mum…'

'Hey,' she whispered, squeezing my hand. 'Emma, you'll be fine without me. You managed without me for twenty-eight years.'

'But I shouldn't have had to!' I yelled, my tears finally spilling over. 'I should have been able to grow with you, bond with you! I should have spent every waking moment of my childhood with you!'

'I know, baby. I know.' She held her arms open and I hugged her, doing my best to avoid her injuries. 'I love you,' she whispered.

I sat back in my chair, wiping my eyes. 'I love you too, Mum. I love you so much.'

Just then, a knock came on the door and David poked his head in. 'Snow, you've got visitors. Can we come in.'

My mother smiled the widest smile I'd ever seen. 'Of course. I'd love to see my family.'

David held open the door and all of my family entered the room: Henry, Killian, Regina, Robin, Neal. The only people missing were Violet and Roland.

Henry walked up to her. 'Hey, Grandma.'

'Hi, Henry. You okay?' she asked him.

'Yeah. How are you?' Snow reached for his hand.

'I'm good, sweetie. Just a bit sore.' She looked at Regina. 'Look after my grandson. You're his mother. Look after our family.'

'Snow, I—I'm sorry for everything I put you through,' Regina started saying. 'I let revenge cloud my judgement and—'

'Regina. It's okay. I was probably in the wrong too. Come here.' Regina stepped forward to hug her and I heard my mother whisper, 'I forgive you.'

When Regina stepped back, she was in tears. I sighed, trying my hardest not to cry again.

'Snow,' Robin started, his arm around Regina, 'You have filled us all with hope, with faith when we were all in despair. I know I haven't known you for as long but your presence has impacted me for the better. I'll miss you.'

'Oh, Robin.' My mother's lip quivered but she wiped her tears away with a finger and exhaled. Robin stepped forward, kissing her hand.

'Oh god, Snow,' David took her hand. 'I—I don't know how I'll cope without you. I keep saying I will always find you but now I'm going to lose you. I  _can't_ lose you.' His eyes spilled over and he hugged Mum. 'I could have saved you, I could have gone with Neal to the hospital.'

'No,' my mum whispered, her voice shaking. 'No. I love you, David but this is what happens now.' She started to sob and Dad held her close to his chest. 'Charming, you are going to be okay. I need you to look after our children and our grandchildren and for that, you need to be the best Charming I know you can be.'

'I love you, Snow. I will always love you.'

David held her chin and brought her lips to his. I struggled to find something to hold onto. I was getting a bit dizzy and I thought I was going to faint.

Killian stepped forward as David stepped away and by my brother's side. 'I hope I made you proud, Snow. I hope I did what you expected in taking care of Emma.'

Mum looked at me and smiled. 'Oh, sweetie. You couldn't have made me more proud. You are going to be the perfect husband to my daughter. Someday. You are going to be the perfect son-in-law. And I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Emma, come here.' I stepped forward as she reached for my hand. 'I won't be here to give you my blessing when the time comes so I'm giving you my blessing now. May you both have a happy life ahead of you.'

She took Killian's hand and put it on top of mine. 'I love you both, okay?' I nodded, my heart screaming.

Killian stepped back, wrapping his arms around me. I put my head into the crook between his neck and his shoulder, watching as David took Neal out of his baby seat and to Mum.

'Oh, sweetie,' Mum said as she held him up. 'I'm so sorry. I love you.' Mum closed her eyes as tears slipped from her eyes. 'My one regret,' she said through her tears. 'Is that my son will have no memory of his mother.'

Regina stepped forward. 'I… can probably help with that,' she said. 'I can enhance his memory. He'll remember everything since he was one month old. It won't hurt a bit.'

Snow smiled. 'Please,' she whispered. 'I'd love for him to remember me.'

Regina put her hand to Neal's forehead and then took her hand to Mum's. She mouthed a spell and for a second there was a blue glow connecting Neal and Mum. 'There,' Regina finished. 'He'll remember you, Snow White.'

'Thank you, Regina.' Snow looked around at all of us and smiled. 'I—' She winced. 'I love you all.'

And then her arms went limp and the machines monitoring her heartbeat silenced. They couldn't monitor her heartbeat because there  _was_  no heartbeat to monitor.

Snow White was dead.

I buried my face into Killian's shirt and bawled. My mother was gone.  _My mother_  was dead. I had known her for no longer than two years and she was already  _gone_. Killian tightened his hold on me, his own eyes spilling tears.

_Snow White was dead._

And she wasn't coming back.

I was acutely aware of doctors and nurses filling the room of crying visitors to unplug Mum from her machines.

This wasn't fair. My father had once told me that the bad moments in life were also worth living but I wasn't sure of this one. I had just lost my mother. And that sure as hell wasn't a moment I'd want to live through again.

* * *

'Mum,' I greeted as I put the flowers down on her grave. 'I still think of you every day.'

I sat down and crossed my legs. I was planning to stay for a while anyway. 'Killian and I had a little girl. We named her Snow White in memory of you. You would have loved her. She would've loved you.'

I sniffed. 'Dad and Neal are doing okay. Neal's four now. He talks about you every day. We keep thanking Regina for that spell she performed in your hospital room.

'Regina and Robin adopted a little boy. His name's Liam. He's six this year. And Henry's gone to college. He's studying English Literature, which is rather fitting for The Author.

'I love you, Mum. I love you.'

My tears started falling so I brought my knees up to my chest, put my head down and wept.

This was my second home now. This was where my mother was. And I knew that I could come and sit here to be with my mother. Because she never left in the first place. She was forever in my heart.


End file.
